life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
