STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
How naked do you want me to be?
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