i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
