In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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