Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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