It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
