smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
