see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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