I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
