I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize