it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
