woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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