This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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