Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
