it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
