I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Randomize
