And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
