Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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