You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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