I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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