We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
