Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
