You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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