I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
