mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
