he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
