Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
