turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
