Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
