$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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