Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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