dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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