No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
