i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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