fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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