I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
