Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
