If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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