$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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