HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
