i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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