Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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