I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
