If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
