Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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