Me. At least after what I've been through.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
