i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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