apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
