I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
