she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Actions speak louder than pants.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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