She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
