Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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