not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
