i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
