i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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