I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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