I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
