No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
