don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
