after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
