So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
