last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
