He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
