Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
