Soap is not a condiment
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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