38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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