she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
