Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize