I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
