I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize