that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
