Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
