Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
i think i just lost a toe
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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