Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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