He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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