Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
