I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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