The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
