I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
