what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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