Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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