At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I got inside last night via doggy door
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Sorry about my life...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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